Sunday, February 1, 2009

My Favorite Lush Today- Lily Allen

To go along with my usual non-"me not drinking" posts I decided to post entries about my favorite boozers every once in a while. This idea came about when I was talking with Heathcliff Huxtable* about my love for a famous singer and asked him if I should just post her or start something up a la the Chick of the Day/Song of the Day thing I do on twitter.

I said "Frak it. I'll do it."

So, without further ado or embellishments here is my first entry into My Favorite Lush Today (and the woman who inspired me to do it in the first place)....


Birth Name:Lily Rose Beatrice Allen
Birth Date:May 2, 1985
Birth Place:London, England
Occupation:Singer / Performer /Drinker

I was going to write some long intricate sum up about her but a true lush that I love let's their drinking and actions speak for themselves. Especially Lily. I would probably marry this chick if I wasn't already promised to another. She is like a cooler, cuter Amy Winehouse without the whole drugged-out, crackhead thing.

Why she is my choice-
- makes out with chicks. lesbian twin chicks
- will fight a broad
- hangs with kate moss and lindsay lohan. do I really have to go into this...
- gets nekkid (even though she really doesn't have the body to do it she has the drunk gusto to say "Fuck it. I'm losing me clothes.")
- is a fan of britney spears (because anyone blond or blond at one time is a fan of her)
- hates Perez Hilton (as do I)
- she wears crazy hats

"I do hope Sean likes my ridiculous hat."

Yes, it looks like all possible negatives but she balances it out with helping others. She supports the FoodBank of NYC, The Lunchbox Fund, Mines Advisory Group, and did some songs and is touring to support WarChild. She fights against hunger and for at-risk youth and weapons reduction.

She's like Superman. Just shorter, cuter and, possibly, tipsy.

Sure, she forgot some songs at these benefit concerts probably due to drinking but come on. I mean, what did YOU do today? That's all I'm saying

Plus, she is honest, which is rare in this day and age. Especially from famous people.

Maybe she's too honest.
She doesn't watch her mouth. At. All. Enjoy her thoughts on the following subjects-

drinking- I'm not defending my drunkenness because I don't need to, I'm 23 it was an awards ceremony I drank the free champagne. How awful of me.

this was of course after she said this to Elton John(who she loves) the previous night- Fuck off Elton, I'm 40 years younger than you, I have my whole life ahead of me.

coke- You never hear the good things about taking cocaine ... the only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you - you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that's not true. I know lots of people who take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work. But we never hear that side of the story. I wish people wouldn’t sensationalize it. Some people are just bad at taking drugs.
(whoa. that last line just, like, blew my mind)

Christianity- I don’t like Christianity much. I was brought up in a Catholic school and they told me gays, adultery and drugs were bad. All my mum’s friends were gay, my dad was having affairs and there were drugs in the house when I was a kid, so it was a bit cruel.

anal sex- I was with mum, dad, his wife and my sister. We were all sitting round and I said my nipples really hurt today.' My dad's wife said maybe you're pregnant. I said no I'm not pregnant and my dad went: 'Are you telling me you and your boyfriend haven't had sex?' I said: 'Well yes but I didn't think you could have sex by having it in the bum bum!
("with mum, dad, his wife and my sister"? and she said "bum bum". That's wild business, Lil- can I call you Lil?)

Trust me. This could have been a WORSE pic.

Kate Perry- I have Katy Perry’s number, someone did me a favor. I’m just waiting for her to open her mouth one more time then it hits Facebook. (I have to say I like Katy Perry but Lily's short Wolverine ass would probably take her if they shot the fair one)

See? Y'all both like kissing girls. Y'all should be BFF, Lil.

Paris Hilton- People like her are useless ... She's hideously untalented. Her music is auto-tuned. You can hear it. I know because my sister saw her in Ibiza and said it was the worst thing she had ever heard. I worked for two and a half years writing my album ... I find it hideous that she's come in and not worked for it at all.

Madonna- I haven't got anything against her at all but she hasn't done anything since the early eighties that has been like 'wow'. She might have meant something once but I don't know anyone my age who cares. (sorry, sis)

Mumm-Ra, drop the kid. Oh. My bad, Madonna. Proceed.

Pussy Cat Dolls- They're too skinny, takes all their clothes off, don't say anything, promote womanizing and look like lapdancers as far as I’m concerned. It's a really bad message to be sending young women. And not just for young women - but for young men. For them to believe that that’s what women are like in real life in such a hideous concept to sell to people. It's just terrible.
(note- I post this because I like to believe I'm a feminist like Lilz and I like curves, dammit, but I would still holler at like 1/2 of that crew)

You know who you are, ladies....

Lily Allen, you are awesome, my dear. I'm a fan of you and your drunky, spunky ass. Keep remaking songs, doing charity work, boozing it up and keep dropping gems like the ones above.

You'll always have a special place in my heart, girl.

* Obviously, fake name.

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