Sean Can't Drink: My Favorite Fictional Lush Today- Starbuck

Before we begin the first of the My Favorite Fictional Lush Today series, I have to explain. Sometimes there are characters created who drink WAY more than any normal human should. Yet, they still have something, a je ne sais quoi if you will, that keeps us rooting for them. Not to necessarily clean their act up but to be the most AWESOME version of their character that they can be.

With that said I should also explain that I'm a HUGE sci-fi geek. Geek not nerd. There is a difference, people.

As long as it is good and not a lotta bs (I'm looking at you, LOST), I'll watch it or read it if it is sci-fi. Thus, I watch the most kick-ass sci-fi show on television right now, Battlestar Galactica. It works because it isn't just metal robots and shit blowing up (although it does have that) but because it is good drama. The issues are relevant and the characters are real and screwed up like actual people. If you haven't watched it before you should definitely check it out. (I got the mini-series and first season if you wanna borrow it)

On this show, the characters go up and down but some maintain certain habits and traits throughout. Whether it be stubbornness, determination or vast self-interest, all the characters have something going for them that makes you want to watch.
There are even a few drunk characters (although, to be fair, all of the cast has had their bouts with the bottles at one time or another).

Even Apollo.

I'm going to talk about my favorite drunk on the show right now and my first pick for Favorite Fictional Lush Today. (no worries- I'll get to the Tighs in due time)

POSSIBLE SPOILERS TO FOLLOW

STARBUCK

Birth Name:

Kara Thrace
Birth Date:Either a long time ago or way into the future
Birth Place:Caprica (maybe)
Occupation:Viper Pilot/ Captain/ Fighter/ Frakker/ Drinker

Where to begin with the awesomeness that is Kara Thrace? Let's start at the beginning.....

Kara was an abused child. Her mom used to break her hands and she learned to accept pain as a way of life, which perhaps led to her alcohol abuse later in life. Her father was a M.I.A. musician which may have been why she got on that pole, son!

Joking.

Anyway, she trained and became the best pilot out there. She was a flight trainer and got the guy she loved killed. More drinking began. She was transferred to Galactica and spent most of her time, before the Cylons came back, gambling, smoking cigars, fighting, boozing it up and being sent to the brig.

Five minutes later, she punched someone and was in the brig.

She drinks Samuel L. Jackson beer (mmm, mmm, bitch), kicks ass and ask questions later. Here are just some of the reasons I adore Starbuck...

- Fights her Excutive Officer, Saul Tigh. Multiple times. (to be fair, he is a drunk also, and that never ends well)

- Humps everyone- Lee Adama, Zak Adama, Samuel Anders, Gauis Baltar, probably some more dudes in flight school and almost boned a Cylon.

- Plays sports well.

Don't even know the rules but I'm sure she could beat me in Pyramid.

- She is tough as hell. Crash landings, no air, fistfights, boxing, experimented on by Cylons, beats someone's ass with a bum leg, returns from the DEAD...Need I go on?

Harder to kill than Fiddy. Word.

- She thinks outside the box. She was stranded on a moon with poison air and figured out how to hotwire a Cylon Raider to get her ass home.

- Disobeys orders and gets an arrow that can show the way to Earth.

- Did I say she DIED already? Oh, yeah. She DIES and comes back with the map to Earth in her pristine Viper.

- Drinks out of a stein with a skull on it.

- Defends Helo to the Galactica crew when he says he is in love with a Cylon. (almost as good as being in love with a stripper- I see you, T-Pain)

- Gives Helo shit for being in love with a Cylon. (She's fair and balanced, like Fox News claims to be)

- Cleans up nice.

Okay it's Sackhoff but my point is still valid.

- Said "Bitch took my ride." Really.

- Will shoot a mofo in a minute. Ask Skulls' ass. She can do it all day.

- Will shank a mofo in a second.

Prepare to be shanked, you Cylon frak.

-Literally drank her husband under the table once.

- Everyone fears her.

- Those that don't fear her are either crazy messed up themselves (a Six, Tigh and Admiral Cain) or at least respect/love her (Adamas, Helo, Roslin).

- Is spiritual but not overly religious.

- Remembers all the pilots that were loss.

- No matter what, will get her shit together to fight the good fight.

So what if she is "The Harbinger of Death." Whatever that means. Please. You know how many times I get that a day? Even on Christmas?