Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I Drink Sprite Out of Spite

Let me give a quick introduction for all of y'all who are new. I have an Irish name, drink Guinness like an Irish man, Coronas like a Mexican, rum like a Caribbean, vodka like a Russian and 40s like a Black Man in the mid-1990s.
No. Wait. That's offensive.
Let's just say I drink like a bloody Scot at times and leave it at that.

Anyway, this is all to say I drink a lot. Mostly on weekends and I have had plans to cut down a huge deal this year. Plan was working alright.....

Then this past week happened. It was not necessarily too much alcohol consumption....ok, it was and it occurred on nights that I had planned on not even drinking.
This resulted in-

- Doing something foolish in my room (not declaring that one publicly)
- Telling my roommate off (deserved but still)
- Randomly getting the number of some woman from Arkansas whose face I don't remember
- Leaving my ID at the local pub
- Falling asleep at a table at the local pub
- Missing the return of BSG (most upset at that one)
- Foolhardy food purchases at 1 AM

After waking up hard on Saturday for work and sleeping most of the remainder of the weekend away, I decided to make a wise but tough decision.

Give up the booze for at least a year.

No more of this, son.

So, I marched my happy arse down to the pub to collect my things and proceeded to drink 4 Sprites and eat some chicken curry. Then, I met my cousin and his friends at Centrifuge in the MGM for drinks. What did I have? More Sprite. I felt good on that Sunday night.

Let's jump to Tuesday, Inauguration Day, a momentous day in history. We got a half-black, metrosexual president from Hawaii.
I was inspired.
I told a handful of my co-workers and some friends that I rededicate myself to having a dry year. Their reactions?

"Are you serious? You?"
"You hang out too much for that."
"I'm starting a pool."
"I got five on it."
"The under/over is four days. I'll take a week."*
"Give me a piece of that action."

Suffice to say I wasn't amused.

See? That's me. Not amused.

I was going to go ahead with my plans regardless of this disbelief in the kid but now I had an extra bonus. No, not money. SPITE

My friends that have known me for awhile know I'll do and or stick to my guns for a number of reasons- to prove my point, because it's the right thing to do, to be contradictory, etc. But the one that usually trumps all of those is SPITE. To prove someone wrong, I'll do whatever is necessary. WHATEVER. Ask my friends- they'll tell you.

This brings me to the purpose of this blog. This is gonna be hard as it is and kinda boring, outside of watching others act a fool. The way I'm gonna get through it is to make it interesting so I decided to keep an online journal of my adventures in sobriety. Plus, having rules and observers will keep me honest.

To make this work there has to be some ground rules which I have come up with-
1) Alcohol of any kind touching my lips counts as me breaking the oath I made. This includes but isn't limited to light beer, beer, vodka, rum, Everclear, Absinthe, gin, whiskey, malt liquor, grain alcohol, all varieties of moonshine and wine. No drinking.
2) The first rule also applies to non-alcoholic beers and wine coolers. (But I don't drink that Kool-Aid and swill anyways so no worries)
3) I will not deviate from my normal schedule of activities. This means that I can't refuse to hang out somewhere because there is liquor there. Still need to hang out with friends and follow my routines. So, I will still go to clubs, house parties, pool parties, cock-fights, lounges, pubs, orgies, etc. as much as I did in the last year but I will not be drinking. You can drink as much as you want though- just don't be surprised that I get pissy at your drunk arse.
4) The date of me officially starting my clean(ish) living is January 20, 2009. I actually started the Saturday before but I want to be fair to all you haters, challengers and skig-skag skallywags.
5) You can choose to try to corrupt me in the following ways- using peer pressure, questioning my manhood, using pretty bartenders/chicks in bikinis/strippers/random midwestern girls to tempt me- but that is douchebag behavior so I hope you won't.
6) Work is a valid excuse if I really am working to not hang out. Work can mean actual work, pursuit of more work or writing. The first two are mostly during the day currently so shouldn't be a factor anyway. The last item has to be valid and proven.
7) When I share a story on here, I must disguise the images, if any, and change the names to protect the guilty. That means you, Shotz. (Although, you'll probably be able to figure out who it is anyway since I'm going to use shite nicknames and maybe a black bar across the eyes for the pics)
8) I must update every Sunday with the non-shenanigans of the week before.

Those are the basics and more may be added later but know this...



Shite. I totally forgot I'm turning 30 this year. That's gonna be a dull, dry party for me I guess.

* okay, it WAS four days that last time but I did go six months booze free before.